Not everything can be sunshine and rainbows.

Sometimes even the best opportunities and experiences really suck sometimes. We are four people living in about 1/4 the space we're used to and we've become accustomed to the idea that we're living here
and not just one vacation. There have been tears, flaring tempers and temper tantrums. For the most part, I think we've done a pretty decent job of talking through hurt feelings, frustrations with lessons, homesickness and the general lack of privacy. Rough patches are to be expected but most of the time a good night's sleep usually means things are better the next morning.

Unfortunately, some rough patches can't be fixed by a good night's sleep, or even multiple good nights' sleep. The death of a pet is never easy. When it happens somewhat unexpectedly and you're thousands of miles away and your family is already a little sensitive, it's even worse.

Over the years our boxer, Sadie, has had all kinds of issues--ACL surgeries on each knee, mast cell tumors, some kind of unexplainable mouth issue that led to constant bad--no, ferocious--breath and most recently, an unknown, unrecognizable tumor that led to several rounds of antibiotics and funnily enough, better breath. She had surgery less than a week before we left. We were worried but felt comfortable that she was in the very good and capable hands of Salli (our surrogate? house/dog sitter?) and our friend and vet, Mary-Margarget. Indeed, all reports after our departure, had been positive. Until the weren't. Our sweet girl took a turn for the worse on Monday and passed away that evening.

By all accounts she was her sweet and loving self, charming everyone the way that boxers do. Her body ultimately made the decision for us, I am grateful for that, but I am also racked with guilt and regret. Salli was with her until the end and I know that she felt loved but I wish it could have been me.  I wish I had taken more time to love on her before we left and that I'd had more time to say goodbye. I wish that I had caught issues and gotten her to the vet sooner. I wish I could take back all the times I was irritated with her for being so excited about breakfast that she wouldn't finish pooping outside and I'd have to pick up little turds that she'd drop on the way up the stairs. Or all the times I was mad at her for going after the mailman or the UPS delivery guy to the point that she got pepper sprayed.  Mostly, I wish that her body could have held out a little longer. That she could crawl up on the bed one more time and push against me until I would scoot over so she could lie down next to me. I would even take the bad breath, the snoring and the gas.